hell yes lets make some ravioli
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
