she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
