I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
