What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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