i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
