Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
