last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
