"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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