I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
