She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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