i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize
