I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
