in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Randomize
