people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
i now understand why vodka
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
