are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
