Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
