Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
