Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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