I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
