FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
