Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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