She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
