Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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