okay pat passed out under dana's car
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
