What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
im six kinds of drunk right now
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Randomize
