have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize