I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
