Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize