There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize