bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
