two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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