HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
my liver is dry heaving
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
