who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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