i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
