I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
