Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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