i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize