Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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