I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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