Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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