I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
