Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
