I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Houston, we have a blender
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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