Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
