You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize