After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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