Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
