I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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