Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
organizing the empties. That sober.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
