had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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