Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize
