Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
