help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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