I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
