Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
