Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
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the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
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Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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