She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
It's shark week go big or go home
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
