One girl and one boy is just not enough.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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