just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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