onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
