Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
