he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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