Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Dear god my vagina.
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