Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
pray to the hookup gods
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
