I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
