discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize