I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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