pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
accomplished twins. life is a go
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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