So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
porn star boner night. come get it.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
